Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
