Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You were trust falling into bushes
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
