You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
