i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
