its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
