And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize