never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize