Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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