Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
