Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
