Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
3 2 1 whiskey
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
