So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
