I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
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Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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