OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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