He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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