I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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