tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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