Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
