K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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