I think I won the penis lottery.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
