So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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