What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
