Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
