i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
