imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
