if only i could text you this smell
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
