i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
