She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
