Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
