Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
