exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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