My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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