also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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