I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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