Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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