you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
