I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
