**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
