at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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