The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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