Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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