so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
