i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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