my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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