Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
