Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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