belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
