dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
