I'm eating all of the evidence.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
