I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
