i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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