We're facebook friends in real life
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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