True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
