Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize