things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
