I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize