we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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