Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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