Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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