A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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