what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize