Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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