Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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