I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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