i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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